TERRIBLE TWO’S
HOW TO HANDLE PUBLIC MELTDOWNS, DISOBEDIENCE AND ALL THINGS TERRIBLE
Before becoming a parent, you always hear about the “terrible two’s” and how horrible they can be when it manifests. The truth is that you don’t really know exactly how horrible it can be until it hits you like a ton of bricks. For my baby girl, we were fortunate enough to have her terrible two’s start at 1 1/2 years old. At a year and a half, Arianna started to climb absolutely everything she could, started to not nap as long as she would need to if at all, purposely doing something you forbade her to do and have meltdowns at the word ‘NO.’ Although we are still going through it, it has gotten better.
The moment my daughter was born, she put us to work. She was born 3 weeks early with failure to decent (when the baby does not decent down the uterus), so my wife had to have a c-section after 26 hours of labor because my feisty little stubborn baby girl just would not cooperate. Not much has changed there. She was born with a bad case of G.E.R.D (acid reflex) to the point where milk would fly out of her nostrils and she would choke, very mild case of jaundice, and for the love of god she would not sleep at all. When I say sleep, I mean no naps in the afternoon and no sleep at night. I’m not going to lie, she really put us through the ringer. Three weeks exactly after she was born, on her original due date i found out my father had passed away. Needless to say, it was the hardest time of my life. I was dealing with the death of my dad, carrying the family business on my shoulders and coming home to a very colicky baby who would scream and cry for absolutely no reason. The point of this part of my blog is to show you, Arianna was and is NO easy baby.
One of the biggest lessons to learn as a father or a parent in general is patience. You have to realize the human in front of you is just a baby and you have to be extremly patient and understanding no matter the circumstance. Believe me, easier said than done, i know. There have been times where her screaming or tantrums have made me lose my own temper. There have been instances where I raise my voice, bang my fist at the table to show her who is the alpha. I came to realize eventually that she does not respond to my voice being raised at all. In fact, her feelings get hurt. When I speak in a loud voice she stares into my soul and starts to sob. It definitely is an ineffective method to disciplining her. What has worked well when shes having meltdowns is i carry her, i shower her with kisses and explain to her that what she is doing is wrong. My daughter responds to love a lot better than she does with anything else. When your kid is throwing a tantrum, weather its in a public place or at home, try showing lots of love, carry them, speak to them kindly yet with a sense of authority. Kids respond much better with love and kindness.
One more thing, if your kid is having an attack in public, don't be embarrassed. I know many parents that get so embarrassed during public meltdowns, they fear judgement from a stranger. First of all, if the person in front of you is a parent, they know exactly what you are going through because EVERY SINGLE CHILD has a temper tantrum in public, that why they're called ‘kids’. If the onlooker is sitting and judging you, that means they are not a parent yet. So don't worry, its just a brief moment that will pass...eventually.