KEEPING YOUR MARRIAGE ALIVE AFTER KIDS
DISCLAIMER: I AM NO MARRIAGE EXPERT NOR DO I PRETEND TO BE. THIS IS MY TAKE ON MARRIAGE AFTER HAVING KIDS AND WHAT WORKS FOR MY WIFE AND I.
Oh the age-old question; how do you keep your marriage alive after having kids? If you are a parent, you already know that your life will do a complete 180 after you have kids. It is not an exaggeration. Everything you hear about parenting is true, and the truth is no one in the world can prepare you for it. Everything you have ever known will change once you bring babies into the world. One of the things that will change is your relationship with your partner or spouse. Living a semi care-free lifestyle is one of the things you completely give up once you have a little one, you no longer can get up and go wherever or do whatever you please.
It’s so easy to lose yourself and that spark in your marriage if you let it. There is a reason why they say that marriage is work, because thats what it requires. It takes love, respect and effort from you and your partner to be and stay happy. Being romantic after kids takes time and creativity. It’s impossible to be sappy and cute when you have vomit on your shirt, a messy house, frustration on both ends, exhaustion from sleeplessness, all while holding and comforting a screaming baby.
Small gestures can go a very long way: buying flowers, ordering take-out so that neither one of you have to cook, finding a baby-sitter so that you can go out to a nice dinner, putting on a good movie and of course, some good ol’ sex. Gentlemen, it wont kill you to wash the bottles or the dishes because your wife/partner is spent from taking care of your offspring, our wives/partners usually appreciate that very much. You can even do the groceries on your way back from work because she hasn’t had a chance to leave the house because she was taking care of YOUR kids. You can even bring home take-out so that she wont have to cook after a hard day with the kiddos. Ladies, marriage is a two-way street; sorry to burst that bubble of yours but us men love some attention if you haven’t realized. We understand that you may have had a long day with the kids or long day at work but we want some lovin’ too! Partners need to do their parts in making a marriage and a family work. Life is hard, it doesn’t have to be hard at home either. Be kind, responsive, sensitive, loving, nurturing and present to each other. No marriage/relationship is perfect! If anyone ever tells you their life or their relationship is perfect, just know that person is a liar and you may want to stay away from them. There is always room to grow in any relationship, whether it’s professional or personal. Life takes work. Marriage takes work so work at it and NEVER ever stop dating each other.